Monday, May 12, 2008 . 5/12/2008 10:09:00 PM
Out of randomness, i'm gonna put my LA poem up here. kinda of nothing better to do, but wells..here goes nothing!What is it like,
To be feeling and unfeeling at the same time?
To believe yet hopelessly skeptical,
To strive without the strength to go on?
The purity of words
Spoken from the heart
True feelings
Expressed without concealment
Can they shine through,
The apathetic gloom?
The need to deceive and manipulate
Grows stronger day by day
Childhood fairy tales
Had always left us in awe
Dreaming of distant lands,
Lurking monsters and evil spirits.
Remember the times where
You put your tooth under the pillow
Hoping for the tooth fairy
to descend?
Fantastical dreams and aspirations
which kept us alive
Appears as faraway stars.
No matter the distance,
it's always encouraging,
A guiding light.
The path forward had been clear,
But are we so sure of it now?
Heh. this is more for jiaxin to read though. since she's so interested.
My own evaluation for the poem is that it is kinda scattered. No central focus. And the interesting thing is, the first stanza have 4 lines, then the next 3 each 8 lines. i dont know how i did it, but i did :D
and as for teachers comments, it was that i need a metaphor/vehicle to drive this. then there's these scribbles which i cant decipher. 0_o My LA teacher must go for penmanship.
Hope that you enjoyed(? seems like an inappropriate word to me) the poem written inexpertly by me :D
